March 2012
Mom: LET'S GO I'M READY
: 10 minutes go by
Mom: are you ready yet?????
Me: I've been standing at the door waiting for you for 10 minutes
Mom: Ok I just have to pee and change clothes and water the plants and feed the dogs and cook dinner and swim the english channel
2 tags
Anonymous asked: You're obnoxious but you're funny so I tolerate you.
“Y.O.L.N”
– aborted fetus
February 2012
queerard:
That moment of victory when someone doesn’t delete your commentary on a post they reblog from you
wvnderbar:
more sad news from hollywood today: rapper pitbull was found alive in his apartment earlier this morning by a family member
mormonhub:
arguing with me
m4rvl asked: Why are you so conceited that you think I'd be obsessed with you? That's the true question.
tyrawanks:
asian pregnancy test:
1. write an equation down and then insert into vagina
2. if the equation has been solved you are pregnant
m4rvl asked: How many? Answer or die.
m4rvl asked: As long as I have more followers than you, I'm good [ = Nice background, by the way.
1 tag
4794:
2peaches:
They should make a dating site for depressed people
ur on it right now
People on the internet: Omg! You're so pretty and nice! Someone would be lucky to have you!
People in real life: Here comes the awkward whale.
Watchkanoni:
i would like to repost this thanks
dumbpointyanimeshades:
dumbpointyanimeshades:
...
Watchtumboner:
maxsoda:
fagology:
gh3tt0fabul0us:
canklequeen:
w3stcoastin:
baddest bitch in town
well OKAY GRANNIE
omfg
WHAT
LOL
WHAT
flawless bitch
this, my filipino friends, is the real definition of ”’swag””
commanderinqueef:
whenever i hear my parents get back from grocery shopping i pretend to be asleep so i don’t have to help unload them because i’m #thatbitch
saddeer:
4794:
when a girl cherry pops is the cherry an audible sound?
yeah it sounds like your father crying in the distance
Anonymous asked: i like guys that know what they want
fartsack:
rum—ham:
archaeosaur:
social anxiety is when successfully ordering a pizza over the phone makes you feel like a champion
segregaytion:
he’s seen more shit than a war veteran
Real nigga haiku
hervacationh0me:
What? Relationship? I just wanna fuck though, girl I gotta go, peace
